i am not Tenzing Norgay... yet.

Wrigley: 

Who are you looking for? 

Miles Massey: 

Tenzing Norgay. 

Wrigley: 

Tenzing Norgay? That's someone she slept with? 

Miles Massey: 

I doubt it. Tenzing Norgay was the Sherpa that helped Edmund Hillary climb Mt. Everest. 

Wrigley: 

And Marilyn knows him? 

Miles Massey: 

No, you idiot. Not the Tenzing Norgay. Her Tenzing Norgay. 

Wrigley: 

I'm not sure that I actually follow that. 

Miles Massey: 

Few great accomplishments are achieved single-handedly, Wrigley. Most have their Norgays. Marilyn Rexroth is even now climbing her Everest. I wanna find her Norgay. 

Wrigley: 

But how do you determine which of the people on here are... 

Miles Massey: 

How do you spot a Norgay? 

Wrigley: 

Yeah. 

Miles Massey: 

You start with the people with the funny names. 

~Intolerable Cruelty 

Last January, as folks talked of resolutions, weight to lose, bookshelves to organize; books to read; I thought of two words: Confidence and Humility. Six months in; I am still working toward that goal. I am still climbing toward that peak. I have determined that, at least for me, these are the two most needed attributes of healthy, effective leadership. And oddly… they are the two attributes that have seemed most elusive for most of my life.

It might seem strange that a human could so completely lack confidence and yet walk with so little humility. But, in fact, it is really not that unusual. You need little more than to have watched a single “Dr. Phil” show to know that most arrogance and braggadocio tends to mask deep insecurity and low self-esteem. And it is equally predictable that the folks who suffer this self-worth bi-polarity seem to often end up in positions that feed one or both of these extremes. Artists, musicians, writers, pastors, etc. seem to feed on the adulation of others and are equally starved when the adulation is withheld.

But not the Sherpa. The Sherpa, I am finding, is perhaps the most complete embodiment of Confidence and Humility. Most have heard of Sir Edmund Hillary but only the most rabid Everest enthusiasts are familiar with Tenzing Norgay. The Sherpa is typically the most skilled and the most competent climber on any Everest expedition and few, if any, climbers reach the summit without the leadership of a good Sherpa. And yet… they are invisible. Sherpa do not become famous. Sherpa do not sit down for television interviews or appear on late-night talk shows. Sherpa lead others to the summit and then let those they lead bask in the glory of the summit.

Confidence and Humility. I don’t expect to get there in the single turn of a calendar year but it is still the summit on which I have set my sights. Maybe a funny name would help…

the parable of the lost sherpa

ok…

So you are climbing Everest and you have contracted with a Sherpa to guide you to the top. Thing is - he has never led an expedition to the summit. He has been on the mountain most of his life. He’s been to the summit with other sherpas.  And you like him, he’s scrappy and determined; and really wants to go to the summit… to lead a team to the summit. So you go…

At base camp you notice that he’s not always as sure of himself as the more experienced sherpas. He seems to ask a lot of questions. He alternates between great enthusiasm and deep doubt. But he is going. Doubt or no doubt; he is going. And so you follow…

At the next encampment you notice that some new climbers have joined the team. The young Sherpa has invited them. He seems to like them but you are not crazy about them. They are just so different… so unlike the rest of the team (or maybe they are just unlike you). But they seem to want to climb and he wants to lead them (and you) up the mountain.

Then you notice his gear. You have never heard of the maker and you have been climbing for a long time. You also realize that the map he carries, his map to the peak, is not the standard map. In fact, it is a map that many of the other sherpas have rejected – warned others not to trust.

And still more climbers join. Some with no maps. Some with maps they have drawn themselves… and worse; you begin to believe your team is lost.

And you become afraid.

You wonder, from base camp, if the novice Sherpa and his team made the summit. You kinda hope he makes it but you know in your heart there is no way he could have. And you think aloud, “I’ll come back and try again… I'm sure I will.”

tribes III

A tribe is defined as a connected group on a mission. Many of us find our tribe when we find a place or a group that feels like home... a place that fits. We long for acceptance and the ties that bind - ties that are often missing from our natural families.

But what if our search for home - our search to fit in and be accepted - turns toxic in that it corrupts the mission

What if the mission becomes comfort?

What if the mission becomes convenience?

What if we begin to bristle at the idea that a tribe requires anything of us at all?

In our efforts to make a "home" for our tribe, have we given up the core of the word's definition? Have we put aside the "mission" that defines us.

Why does your tribe exist? What is the mission? What are you building or tearing down? How are you changing your neighborhoods, your cities, the world? And... if your mission is to make sure that all are comfortable, that no one feels the pressure of expectations... are you a tribe at all?

tribes: 2

i need community. i thrive on relationship and interaction with others. i hate being alone. unfortunately, i am also not very good at relationships.

i am easily wounded. easily hurt. easily discouraged. and to make matters worse, i tend to be drawn to people who sense my weakness and proceed to push my buttons. did i mention that i also tend to be paranoid?

so... how do you lead a tribe with such a huge basket of snakes to carry?

my only hope, i think, is honesty. to say out loud "this is me... this is who i am." to live as transparently as possible and to trust that those who remain are cool with following, or at least walking beside such a mess as i.

no apologies. no masks. no hiding. i am a mess and i have no idea where i am going. wanna come with?

tribes

thinking a lot about tribes lately. larger tribes and tribes within tribes. tribes and how we lead them.

"What people are afraid of isn’t failure. It’s blame. Criticism." ~ seth godin (Tribes)

i'll be writing more soon about some of the tribes i inhabit and how the above quote may be the heart of all related frustration. stay tuned...